Explanation of the Absence of Dr. Edvardssonn
Dr. Edvardssonn has been on an extended research sabbatical, since he announced he was due to be abducted by aliens from the Pleiades. However, our remote viewing staff has recently obtained disturbing information to the effect that the craft which took Dr. Edvardssonn went towards the galactic center instead. The heavy neutrino flux has been impeding viewing efforts, but the Institute of Higher Noetics, following its tradition of quality you have come to expect, is treating this setback as a spur to develop improved techniques of astronomical-scale scrying.
At the current date, our unofficial suspicion is that those Lords of Time which reside in the galactic center are responsible for diverting Dr. Edvardssonn’s conveyance, as part of their efforts to prevent Dr. Edvardssonn’s exposure of their conspiracy. However, our staff, from the Director on down, is confident that Edvardssonn will return soon. Before he was abducted, he precognized a hilarious event in which he participated in his physical body, which is to take place during the turn-of-the-millennium celebrations. Therefore, it is certain that he will be back before the year 2000. We at IHN eagerly anticipate the new insights Dr. Edvardssonn will bring, and look forward to updating the scientific community in due course.
Press Secretary, IHN,
on behalf of
Tamerlane A. Edvardssonn
vice-president for public outreach
Institute of Higher Noetics
4847 Valley Ridge Road
Ames, Iowa 50010-5799